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The Best Advice I Ever Received

What advice I would give someone going into ministry with their husband?


The best advice I ever received as a Pastor’s Wife came from myself. I had to tell myself, “just be myself and be what God had called me to be.”  Do not get it wrong, I know that being a pastor’s wife is not a calling, but it can be an assignment. I had to come to the realization that I was trying to be what everyone else expected me to be as a pastor’s wife. I found out that it was not working for me. I realized that I had a calling on my life way before I became a pastor’s wife. I found myself place my calling into ministry on the back burner and walking as the dutiful pastor’s wife, assisting my husband with the Lord’s vision that He had given my husband.


I played the role, as the Pastor’s Wife role did not work for me very long. I started to feel disjointed from myself and the ministry, not to mention that trouble brewing on the horizon. I felt angry and resentful and felt that my purpose had to be placed on hold for a ministry of women that did not respect me, well, some of them at least.


Being the pastor’s wife is not an easy assignment; therefore, I began this just as the creator of “Real Talk with the Pastor’s Wife. I want others to know that they are not alone, that there is a fellow laborer that shares some of the same feelings, and I want others, both men and women in the congregation that pastor’s wives have feelings and we do hurt. This venture may not be for everyone, but I want to speak my truth while helping others. I want to help them understand that NO, we are not super humans or superhero’s; we are just God’s chosen vessels trying to focus on God’s vision while tending to His flock. However, sometimes the flock may have a different agenda. Therefore, I want to speak honestly, without hindering the church’s mission, sounding bitter or hateful.


Speaking your truth will help heal the wound caused by those sheep that bite.


The best advice I can give other Pastor’s Wives IS TO JUST BE YOURSELF.




…when it feels like everyone’s opinions are overly critical expressions that try to define my very existence and identity… BE A DUCK! I’ve learned to let it roll off my back like the water on a duck’s back.

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